Second Best
Second best is a phrase that’s stuck with me my entire life. With my friends, job, and classwork, I used to feel completely invisible.
Being good enough was always unattainable. I’d get close to my goals, but something was always holding me back. Want to know what it was? Myself.
We all struggle with insecurity in different ways. For me, it was my overall self-confidence. I didn’t think I was smart enough to make that A, funny enough to keep friends, or talented enough to reach my goals. Long story short, this mindset is incredibly toxic.
In high school, I drowned myself in extracurricular activities. I was editor-in-chief and main photographer of the school’s yearbook; one of the founders, only photographer, and designer of the school newspaper; and also tried to keep up with my own photography on the side. I won many awards, but it didn’t matter. I still felt talentless.
Achievements will only take you so far in your journey. In the end, it doesn’t matter if others believe in you; If you don’t believe in yourself, the passion and drive will fade. Teenage Abbey was petrified to show her writing to anyone. Look at me now; I’m writing about anything and everything for the world to see.
I had to discover that confidence within myself. It wasn’t an easy process, and it won’t be for anyone else trying to find their inner strength. I won’t lie to you about that; there will be trails.
My anxiety and fears outweighed any goal or quality I had. To help you get through your own journey, I thought I’d give you a few tips.
You need to be your own biggest fan.
You are the only person that knows every aspect of your true identity, so why not be your biggest fan? Relying on others when it comes to your own success will be a setback in your quest for self-discovery. It’s not wrong to include people on your projects and let them know what you’re doing, but you have to be doing it for you. Be proud of your work. With every challenge you complete, the more you grow.
Realize no one has your exact skill set or experiences.
Everyone is different, including you! People can be interested in the same type of work, but your life experience and interests make you completely different from another. Your classmate can be incredibly talented but have a different style than you. Just because your style doesn’t match theirs, it doesn’t mean they’re better than you. You both bring unique skills and ideas to the table.
Don’t let setbacks keep you from doing what you love.
This one took me ages to learn. Whether you didn’t get that promotion or got a bad grade on an assignment, that doesn’t define you. Instead of taking that as a negative, use it as a challenge. Show your friends, teachers, and bosses you can improve. No one can hold you back but yourself.
Finding confidence in your talents is a process.
It takes a while to fix your mindset. Know it will take some time, but once it clicks, you’ll be golden.
Surround yourself with encouraging people.
This is crucial. The people around you impact the image you have of yourself. Have your friends lift you up, not let you down.
Realizing you aren’t second best is the first step in finding your full potential. Whether it’s in friendships or work, realize you are unique. Your perspective is completely different than anyone you know. Keep killing the game; I know you got this.
Sincerely, Abbey
Photography: Abbey C.