Old Habits
Knowing something is wrong for you is only half of the battle.
One thing I’ve learned is that even though I know something isn’t right, I still allow it a place in my life if I’m not careful.
Habits are hard to break, especially when they used to be such a positive light in your life. Nothing stays the same, and I have to remind myself of this every single day. Sometimes, I have to remind myself of this truth every hour, every minute.
I’m used to my self-destructive ways taking control. It’s so hard to do the right thing for yourself—refusing to engage in something that’s not good for you.
All it takes is one simple text, one slip, to fall back into old habits.
Just because something is familiar doesn’t mean it’s right for you. All it embodies is a sick comfort with no security.
Now, you may be thinking, “Abbey, why are you writing about this right now? What’s up?”
Here’s the thing: I’m writing this to remind myself that I deserve so much more out of life. I shouldn’t settle in any situation when I know it’s toxic.
So, while it might sound like I’m preaching at all of y’all, I truly am yelling at myself. I’m screaming to snap out of the cycle I know is completely wrong for me.
You can clearly view a situation when you’re out of it. Then boom: it’s happening again, and you have to convince yourself that it’s still wrong.
This back-and-forth is the most frustrating experience. Everything gets hazy when you look at life through rose-tinted glasses, even the logic and truth you realized just beforehand.
An old fling or friend may make you feel really good in the moment, but once they leave (yet again), the hole inside of you grows bigger.
This is merely a band-aid trying to cover up a wound that needs stitches. You aren’t helping yourself; you are only prolonging the healing process.
So, don’t send the text. Don’t reach out to those who hurt you because you miss them.
It’s okay to miss someone and cherish memories before it all went bad, but you have to remember that they aren’t the idealized version you have in your head. They’re human—prone to making mistakes and hurting you just like before.
Choose to spend time with the people that love and respect you. Surround yourself with positivity and growth, not heartbreak.
You deserve nothing but the best; please don’t settle for less. You accomplished too much personal growth to go back to old habits. Be consistent with your boundaries, and those who truly love you will still be around.
Sincerely, Abbey