‘Just Keep Driving’
As you all know, Harry Styles is my favorite person ever. I mean… his handwriting is literally tattooed on my arm.
Recently, his third album, “Harry’s House,” released. Let me tell you, I wasn’t ready for how it made me feel.
It triggered one of my biggest wounds I’m still recovering from. While I am an open book, this one is just a tad too personal to share. If you do know what I’m referencing, you know why.
But I will be completely transparent here: when I hit that one specific song, it did make me have a severe anxiety attack. By severe, I mean it was one of the worst ones I’ve had in years.
I was in the fetal position hyperventilating on my bathroom floor for an hour. Not a single light was on; I was just shaking on the cold, tile floor. I didn’t fall asleep until 5 a.m., my head was pounding and my body continued to shake for about three hours after the worst was over.
The next day, I didn’t feel like a real person. I was empty—simply living on autopilot.
It made me realize that I’m still not okay, but I needed the reminder. It’s so easy to suppress emotions until they come spewing out of the pot. The explosion needed to happen for me to heal. I needed to face the hurt.
After this, I kept listening to the album. I stumbled across one of my newest favorites: “Keep Driving.”
Here’s the chorus:
A small concern with how the engine sounds
We held darkness in withheld clouds
I would ask, “Should we just keep driving?”
It’s so true. Just like a car, if something doesn’t feel right within you, you shouldn’t ignore it. If you do, it’ll end in overwhelming smoke and a complete shutdown—just like I experienced mere moments before.
It’s also such a good comparison because people continue through life without addressing their core issues. While you can continue, how long will it last? Is it truly worth it to just keep driving?
It’s scary to face the hurt and confront traumatic memories. If it was easy, everyone would do it.
While it is challenging, once you do it, you free yourself. It’s not a simple one-and-done process; moving on from something may take months (or years) to truly overcome.
But guess what? You either face it now or it reappears later. If you just keep driving on a broken car, it makes the damage worse. The engine will be even harder to fix.
Avoidance doesn’t deflect the pain; it prolongs the healing process.
It’s not worth it to keep driving, even if it seems like the most appealing option. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a support system helping you fix the problems and the right tools in your toolbox.
So, next time you hear your engine studder, stop driving. Pop open the hood, and let the smoke come out. Let your engine cool down, and look at the problem head on. I’ll be with you with my handy dandy toolbox.
Sincerely, Abbey