Writer’s Block
Sometimes, I have no idea what to write.
Writer’s block is a true struggle, and it’s unavoidable. Right now, I’m in the middle of a blockage. So here I am writing nothing but my inner monologue on a Word document.
I have strong emotions, and I don’t know how to put them to words. I’ll sit on my bed rapidly deleting and rewriting sentences trying to capture it perfectly, but if I’m being honest, most time I can’t. Want to know something? It’s actually what I’m doing as you read this. Words are hard.
Feelings aren’t black and white. Each mental state is entangled with one another.
Think about headphone cords. When you find them, you realize they’re severely knotted. It can take you a good five or six minutes to untangle. With each second, your frustration slowly grows.
Trying to understand your own emotions can be just like unraveling your headphones. A main difference is, instead of five minutes, this problem can take years to unravel. And sometimes, you may never get a concrete answer.
All you can do is try your best to feel them fully. At this moment, I’m not happy or sad. I don’t feel like I’m in the middle, but I’m not sure which emotion I’m closer to. The only thing I know is that I am feeling.
It’s as if I’m living every memory at once. Each scene flashes by my eyes for a second and then evaporates into the dark mist. I can’t explain it any better than that.
I’m overwhelmed but completely calm at the same time; I’m stuck between my past and my present.
Now, when you look at this, what would you call this feeling? You can’t label the immensity as one emotion or direct topic. It’s just there.
I can’t create a life lesson or my usual bullet-point list of advice. There’s no way to construct a well-thought-out article. Instead, I gift you with this late-night jumble of words. It’s like my own version of “The Da Vinci Code.”
To anyone out there reading this, thanks for sticking with my irregularity. Feelings and words are complicated. At times, both can make a writer wander with no destination, just like what you’re reading right now.
Sincerely, Abbey
Photography: Abbey C.