No Relationship, No Problem: Why I’ve Stayed Single Through College
You’ve heard it before: “Oh, you’re in college? You aren’t too far off from getting married! Now’s the time to meet your husband…”
The added pressure of dating someone in college is real.
While it’s nice to think about finding your husband or wife in college, this shouldn’t be a staple for your college experience. College is when you’re supposed to learn about YOU, not someone else.
Personally, I’m not the biggest fan of relationships. I mean, if you read my old article, “Loving Yourself Before You Love Someone Else,” you know I’m a big supporter of self-growth.
Relationships are hard and require a high amount of dedication and energy. Between class, work and just my overall mental health, I know I’m not in the right mindset for anything serious, nor do I have the time for it.
From one college student to another, here are a few reasons why I’ve chosen to stay single through most of my college experience.
Focusing on yourself now is crucial.
College is the time for you to fully understand yourself as an individual. It’s your first time away from family and living on your own; there’s a lot to take in and discover. Rushing into a relationship strips you away from the opportunity to really know yourself. Throughout college, I can tell you I’ve grown tremendously, and I don’t think I would have achieved that same growth in a relationship.
Career aspirations and internships set up your future.
Landing a job, especially in a post-COVID world, is extremely difficult. As a junior, I’m engulfed in interviews and cover letters; it’s hard to even see friends sometimes. Finding your passions and putting them to work is a big part of college, and searching for an internship is a part of that process. Focus on your classes, work, and portfolio; your future self will thank you later.
College is for friendships.
Now is the time to make some lifelong friends. While a boyfriend or girlfriend may also be nice, it’s a strong friend group that will set you up for college success. I can tell you I wouldn’t be who I was without my friends, and the support is needed when tackling brain-numbing classes and overwhelming projects.
Being alone helps you figure out what you truly want out of life.
TRUTH. I didn’t even know I had a passion for writing until I was single in my first semester of college; now look at me! Instead of focusing my energy on a connection, I explored the possibilities of writing. Now, I can’t imagine my life without it.
I’m not saying to avoid a relationship if it comes your way; I’m just saying to focus on other aspects of your college experience. You may get incredibly lucky and meet your spouse in an introductory geography course; life is crazy like that. Just remember you are more than a marriage, and you have so much growing to do as you discover who you really want to be.
Sincerely, Abbey
Photography: Abbey C. and Kaelyn V.