Negative Expectations: How Pessimism Does More Harm Than Good
For a long time, I thought it was better to feel nothing than risk getting hurt.
I never wanted to get my hopes up.
I remember telling this to my therapist recently, and he told me I took it to the extreme. It’s important to not have unrealistically high expectations; my problem is that I had unreasonably low expectations. I’d keep them so low it hurt me in the long run. Fun, right?
I didn’t think this was possible, but it really was a reality check for my own personal perspective.
The idea of feeling any negative emotion made me want to run. If I could avoid it, I would. One thing I didn’t realize was that this mindset took away the good things of life with it. I just tried to feel neutral or nothing.
Even if something went well, I wouldn’t let myself get “too excited” in the fear that it would end or go wrong. I thought I was being realistic, but looking back, I was just highly pessimistic.
Pain comes with life; avoiding things that hurt you also takes away the positives. Who knows, that one situation you may not trust could lead to happiness. Outcomes are uncertain.
One thing I keep reminding myself is that I need to be open to new experiences. I’m terrified of anything new, especially if I have no idea what’s going to happen.
I’ve started welcoming what scares me the most: the unknown. Now, I’m trying to keep an open mind. A pessimistic perception may ruin the good right in front of you.
I guess where I’m going with this is that your thoughts hold more power than you think. How you see a situation can make or break an opportunity.
It’s okay to be careful, but don’t shut yourself off completely. Keep your heart open, and recognize when you’re being too pessimistic. Trust me, I’m doing it right along with you.
Sincerely, Abbey
Photography: Abbey C.