Failure is Not Fatal: Motivation for Those Dealing With Rejection
Let me set the scene: I was a high school senior, fresh off several rounds of the ACT and thick in the rush of picking a college.
All my life it had been my dream to get a full ride scholarship to college. I got the opportunity to interview for a presidential (full ride) scholarship at MSU, where I now go.
I wore my crispest, business-professional outfit and did my best to wow the judges, but, alas, my hopes were shortly dashed by my inability to think cleverly on the spot. They threw me a curveball question and asked me what the first thing I would do if I was the dictator of a small country was, and I, after taking a multi-second pause during which my brain went absolutely blank, told them I would give everyone cake. CAKE. True story.
I remember where I was when I got the call that I hadn’t received the scholarship. It was one of those times when you have been trying to be realistic and tell yourself you didn’t get it, but in that moment when you get the call, you allow yourself to hope for a brief second. But then, in fact, your hope was in vain. When the words, “Unfortunately, you did not receive the …” came through the phone, my heart sank.
Thoughts rushed in as my mind spiraled: I’m not smart. I didn’t work hard enough. All my work was in vain. I didn’t achieve my goal. I will never achieve my goals.
This happened again when I tried out for an editorial position at my college newspaper and again to me a few days ago. I had entered a longform nonfiction piece, my first one ever, in a writing contest my school was hosting for the state. Longform nonfiction is my dream to write and what I want to stake my career on.
I worked on the story on and off for almost a year, and it was about something personal. It was kind of my baby. And again, I hoped against hope that it would somehow win, my hard work would pay off, and my career aspirations would be validated. But, one afternoon, I received an email from the contest saying, “After careful review and consideration of all entries, I regret to inform you that your written work did not place.”
I’m not going to lie; a few tears did come to my eyes. I had put my all into this piece and allowed myself to think that might pay off.
The same set of thoughts came rushing back in, eager to jeer at my fondest hopes: What do you think you’re doing? You will never make it in this career. Your next writing endeavor will be a failure too. You’re not even good at what you love.
But, I knew I had to remember that rejection is only the end if you let it be. My mom has a sticky note next to the microwave in the kitchen that says, “Rejection happens to everyone. Get over it.” While it’s a bit blunt, it is true.
Rejection does happen to everyone; we have to keep moving. I’ve had my fair share of rejections, and I’m sure you have too. Whether it was a contest, a scholarship, an award, a grade you wanted, a school you wanted to get into, or even someone you wanted to like you, rejection just sucks. It’s sad and discouraging. But it can also be one step closer to success. Here are some tips to help you see the overwhelming positives in the negatives of rejection.
It happened to the greats before they became great.
Dr. Seuss’s first book was rejected by publishers 27 times before it got accepted. Oprah Winfrey was fired by a television producer because she was “unfit for TV.” Steven Spielberg got rejected from film school three times. Stephen King’s first book was rejected 30 times. Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper because he “lacked imagination.” If that list doesn’t convince you to keep going, I don’t know what will.
It doesn’t define you.
Try not to let yourself spiral. The fact is that my essay was not chosen for that particular contest by that particular set of judges. That is not the same as “all my writing is pointless and awful.” That one rejection is not a judgement on your entire self. You can’t let one decision have that much power over you.
Learn from it.
Although I didn’t win the writing contest I entered, I did get professional feedback on my article, which is invaluable in and of itself. While it was too raw for me to look at their comments in the moment, in the long run, that will be a huge help to me. Rejection allows you to hone your craft and only get better.
Remind yourself of your successes, no matter how small.
I have a list on my phone of small things people have said to me that were encouraging such as “I loved that article you wrote for the paper” or “I can tell you worked so hard on that layout.” I call them “heart awards” because they made my heart happy, and I will treasure them forever. So, sometimes, when I’m feeling down about my abilities I go back and look at my list and let the kind words of those around me lift me up again.
Let the rejection fuel you.
It’s not about them, about proving yourself, or showing someone up, but let the rejection push you to work harder. Take it as a challenge; I dare you. The most gut-wrenching experiences come with the biggest growth. From my own personal experience, all of the “no’s” have made me a better writer.
Set small goals.
I once heard a local filmmaker give some really good advice on staying motivated in the cutthroat movie-making business. He said it is paramount to set small goals as well as large ones. For instance, instead of being disappointed that my story didn’t place in the contest, I can be proud of myself for achieving my goal of writing my first longform nonfiction piece.
So, the next time the news you eagerly awaited isn’t what you wanted, don’t let it crush you. A famous quote from Winston Churchill comes to mind. “Success is not final. Failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
Rejection is just a small step in your life-long journey to better things. Your skills are valued, you are worthy, and you’re going to kill it if you just keep trying. I’m rooting for you.
Sincerely, Hannah
Photography: Hannah B.