Disabled Isn’t a Bad Word
When I call myself disabled, sometimes people quickly tell me in a hushed voice not to call myself that.
First question: how is identifying with my illnesses a bad thing?
The more in-tune and comfortable I got with this part of me, the easier it was to say disabled. It’s who I am; no point in hiding it.
One thing I want to start off with is that this word makes people uncomfortable. I know many people are confused on if they should use it describing me, and I say go for it.
There was a big debate for a long time whether it was a “disabled person” or a “person with disabilities,” and while many people think you have to choose one, you can use both. Many people in the disability community have different preferences.
There are reasons for both ways. First, let’s start with disabled.
I, and many others, push for disabled person because it’s an identity-driven approach. I mean, being disabled has everything to do with self-identity. My setbacks and complications have made me who I am today.
This isn’t something I’m ashamed of, and I encourage people to call me disabled. The stigma around the word needs to be broken. Being different isn’t something to be ashamed of; it means I offer a unique perspective on life.
I’m also proud and honored to be a representative for many who can’t speak up. Awareness means owning what you are, and in my case, it’s being disabled.
Some, on the other hand, may want to be called a person with disabilities.
In this case, you put the person before their disability. People who prefer this want to exaggerate that they are more than just their illness— with it only being a little part of them.
I see the importance of both, and they are both true in their own ways. Keep in mind, people just finding out they’re disabled for the first time may not feel comfortable calling themselves disabled yet.
It’s a process and a lot to take in. For me, it took about two years to say the world disabled out loud when describing myself.
When talking to a disabled person, ask them which version they prefer. It won’t sound insulting; we’ll actually appreciate it. It’s showing that you are someone wanting to learn and understand. That’s all we can ask for.
Identity is important for everyone, and we all have preferences. From pronouns to descriptions, all we can do is try our best to learn and honor everyone’s differences.
So, say the word disabled when describing me. It’s not offensive. It’s what I am, and I’m proud of it.
Sincerely, Abbey