People, Prestige, and Priorities
I have a friend that’s a dancer. It’s always been her dream to dance on Broadway.
Once Coronavirus crashed onto the scene, Broadway shut down, not to return until at least 2021. All of the Broadway stars my friend loved suddenly had their lives stripped away from them. It’s an all-consuming job, one that makes it difficult to have a family or much of a life outside of work.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with pursuing the job of your dreams. But when it’s all said and done, what really matters, what really brings true joy and life satisfaction, what is still there when the world is in shambles, are the people around you.
Although I’ve heard this from cute quotes on Pinterest, I don’t think I fully appreciated what it meant—until Coronavirus forced me to.
With the onset of the pandemic, many of us were thrown into a life of limbo. We were sent home from school, furloughed from work, separated from friends, and for most of us, forced to spend months of unexpected time with our family. When everything changed, family is what we had left.
In the past, I scoffed at cheesy, romantic movies of lovers staring into each other’s eyes and saying “wherever you go I’ll go,” “home is with you,” etc. Now, I think they might just have it right.
American culture values productivity and success above all else. Homemakers are looked down upon. Children are prodded from the earliest age to join multiple travel sports, make the highest grades, and get into the best college. But, in a small rainbow amid a really dark cloud, Coronavirus has shown us the beauty of slowing the breakneck speed of our daily lives and just how much being with people really matters.
My cousin is a genius: near perfect score on the SAT, valedictorian of her high school class, etc. She applied to various Ivy League colleges, but her boyfriend went to the University of Tennessee. Ultimately, she chose Knoxville with her boyfriend, where she could still pursue what she wanted to study, and also be with the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. They got married in college and are now expecting a baby.
The Christmas after they got married she said to me, “being married to your best friend is like living life in technicolor.”
I don’t know about you, but what could be better than living life in vibrant color, full of joy and contentment?
Now, could they have made it work long distance? Absolutely. If the Lord really wanted her to go to one of those schools to pursue her career would she have? Without a doubt.
There’s nothing wrong with choosing people over prestige (even though society would like to tell us there is). Maybe, the greatest “success” in life isn’t an accumulation of trophies, diplomas, and promotions. Maybe, we need to consider changing how we think and what we put on a pedestal.
A group of Harvard researchers studied 268 men for 75 years in search of discovering the key to a meaningful, happy life. You know what they found? The key wasn’t career, money, social class, physical health, or alcohol. It was relationships.
I’m not telling people to necessarily choose their college based on their significant other. For some, that’s really just a horrible idea. I’m just asking you to consider that maybe American culture doesn’t always have its priorities right.
There are innumerable benefits to cultivating healthy relationships. Below are just a few.
Mental health
It’s been proven that spending time with friends and family and having deep connections with others decreases stress and improves mental health.
Physical health
Believe it or not, loving relationships contribute to many physical benefits. These include living a longer life, quicker healing, lower blood pressure, a stronger immune system, and greater heart health.
Happiness
Obviously. Vibrant, close relationships increase overall happiness and life satisfaction.
Consistency
Deep relationships stay with you when all else doesn’t. When that job falls through, when school is cancelled, look at who’s still beside you.
Support
Relationships are the wind beneath your wings, empowering you to go out and brave the crazy world and the latest crisis at your workplace.
Now, parents are not perfect. Spouses are not perfect. This world is not perfect. There are situations where relationships are ripped away, where you can’t be with those you love. But luckily, there is one Friend who we can never be separated from. When all else is taken away, when nothing else is constant, God never forsakes us. He cannot. He is always there. And He is always full of love. Our relationship with Him is what is most important, not our performance. Even on this earth, relationships are what’s important, not performance.
So, fight to prioritize people. Fight the cultural narrative that a worthwhile life is found in money and prestige. Value relationships. Never forget who is there when everything else is not.
Sincerely, Hannah
Photography: Hannah B.